Was I loved?

Written By:  Ameer Suhail Meer
Does he like me?
Does she think I’m attractive?
Am I going too fast?
Am I being clingy?
Is he sincere?
Does she really love me?
These are some of the thousands of questions that plague our mind whenever we are in a relationship.
We obsess over ourselves trying to please the other one. If they miss our call, or don’t respond to our text, we get frantic with worry, and start hyperventilating.
We constantly doubt ourselves, whether we are good enough, whether we deserve to be loved, whether WE are the ones causing all the trouble in our relationships.
But all this worry increases ten-fold, when there is no response from the other side, and twenty-fold when the response is negative.
How often do we get brushed off with a “You’re so negative” or “I’m busy!” or “You just don’t understand!”
The truth of the matter, which we NEVER realize, is that THEY are the ones who are least bothered, and they are the ones who don’t understand the pain that they’re causing us.
They never realize that if we’re acting crazily obsessed, its not because we’re stalkers or psycho maniacs. It’s because we care.
They ignore or reject you without granting us the courtesy of an explanation, and when we ask for one, then we’re being “Filmy” or a “Drama Queen.”
They are the ones having the problem, yet it is us emotional fools who get the most hurt. A friend of mine once told me “Stop caring. The more you care, the more they will hurt you.” He once used to be open to emotions and love. But he was hurt so badly, and that two twice, that now his whole perspective is changed. He is not able to trust or completely love someone for the danger of being stabbed in the back again.
In any relationship, the gaps between two mountains can only be covered with two bridges: Trust and Honesty. If either of them is missing, then the relationship is nothing but a mirage. Just like a bridge cannot exist with out either rope or the wood planks, honesty cannot exist with out trust and vice versa.
So the one’s who belong to the other side, (if you’re bothering to read this at all) please try and be a little more understanding, before inflicting your wrath on the “obsessive, clingy and dramatic” counterpart, or at least ask them why they are doing it. You may just be surprised by the reason behind it, which more often then not, is a positive one.