Relationships

SELF DECEPTION…!


Written by: Emma Alam
Why women suffer is the phenomenon, cannot be explicated clearly, keeping in view the certain facts. Why every now and then, the fragile creature faces turmoil and rainy days… Are they, standing themselves in the way of their own development? Or it’s the labyrinths of social fabric that never let any silken thread to become a part of tapestry. It could be double standards of our hierarchy, die hard stances; deep rooted in the soil of customs and rituals, which very habitually foster impediments afterwards fallacy regarding women empowerment and liberation.
But when it comes to the roles played by women towards society, the situation becomes vague and unfathomable. No one can come back with, what actually women want, if one faction is chanting slogans in favor of stepping outside, sit in offices and work assiduously towards betterment by contributing to economic growth, not only for their homes but also on national grounds, all together another cluster of women prefer to stay at home, being confined to domestic chores and procreation, strictly against the sovereignty of their counterparts.
No doubt countless women are making mark in almost each field through gaining highest ever academic degrees present on this earth, enjoying privileged status in different sectors, but contrary to that, we can see a grim picture prevalent in less developed and rural areas, apart from who, even after earning professional degrees choose to become housewives and rust away their worthwhile potentials.
Two different attitudes could be seen among girl folks, thorough professional, who give worth to their endeavor and serious in pursuit of knowledge, but two times in number are those who are pleasure seeking, fond of leisure and often like to do nothing. They are least bothered about their future and career; rather deceive themselves by residing in fairyland dreaming about their hunks to come with silver sandals. Often they have evasive attitude towards life, remain unequipped to combat stern realities hence sooner or later find themselves amidst grave circumstances.
Here not only they are responsible, but our system and general attitude of society play a vital role. Lack of counseling and quality education, Discrimination at all levels, restricted opportunities, unfavorable home and outer environment, substance deficiency in coaching, colleges and universities’ milieu not very congenial, nurturing everything except functional edification. Medium of instructions being prey to bilingualism, girls are given fewer opportunities to develop self-confidence; sports complexes for them hardly exist where they could rejuvenate, or indulge in healthy activity.
Consequently get them adept in century old skill, attributed mostly to women ‘backbiting’ and ‘family politics’ while superstition governs their kaleidoscopic whirl of circumstances. Since the only option for them is to stay at home and engross what media is offering through substandard fiction augmented by gaudy attire, jewels, glitz and glamour; that often results in frustration and disappointment. Another factor is bandwagon approach, never try to think of their own, hardly take decisions regarding their own matters, thus it seems to them easy to follow suit rather using their own skills, (a common trait as a nation).
In due course when, such lots embark on practical life, find it difficult to cope with day-to-day challenges, dependent on others hardly take any initiative towards independent existence. Thus subject to violence, exploitation and manipulations at the hands of their dear ones as well as outsiders, due to their own oblivious and naive attitude. It’s customary, not to give women share in property, nevertheless generally girls abandon studies with thought that they are not going to adopt any occupation in up coming days, so why to waste precious years in a futile job of getting education. In future she willingly or unwillingly denunciate from her share in parental assets, rarely gets an alimony if being divorced. Although Islam has bestowed women with this right, hence episode of her miseries is endless, but she, consoles her by giving the embodiment of sacrifice to all such injustices.
They cannot ventilate their pent up feelings and emotions that results in repression and nuisance. Simultaneously they have greater tendency towards frivolities owing to whimsical nature, usually cannot judge state of affairs profoundly and make decisions, not prudent enough. Insecurities lurk through their hearts all this nurture contempt for their own fellow women, prevent them to be courteous and generous towards other women.
Still mothers do not welcome the birth of girl child; extreme form of it can be seen in India where gender selection and feticide are at alarming rate. Electronic and print media contribute a lot in building vision of any civilization, but generally it becomes difficult to extract constructive material from bombardment of superficial stuff. Talking about majority girls, they hardly opt for substantial literature or movies, rather like to reside in tales of fantasy, subsequently remain deliberately unaware of rapidly changing social patterns and behaviors.
Another thing, they never bother about current affairs and geo political scenario, latest technology etc. we have limited them to certain subjects, and they can talk about or could do well in certain domains. Cross section of our society still shows a picture quite contrary to that progressive portrait often being projected in seminars. Such sorts of stereotypes never accept a bohemian mind; rather those who want to see through diverse angle, or choose un-trodden ways hardly get appreciation from peers.
There is another multitude, which comes under the title of knighted women, who after Herculean battle achieve privileged status, obviously their way to success is not rosy and again fraught with innumerable hazards, but they possess enough velour to break all virtual shackles.
But what about the rest of…Will they be able to survive in a contemporary world with all those conventional dogmas, customs and practices? Will they ever be able to modify their ways, set goals and strive restlessly? When seed of wakefulness would sprout out of deep slumber? Unless they won’t take steer in their own skilled hands; cannot recognize their own innate worth and potential.

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